Psychotherapy
my approach to therapy
I love supporting grieving people in making sense of their experience, and claiming their agency within it. I do this by drawing from an eclectic mix of theories and modalities that make the most sense for the person I'm consulting with. Above all, we move at the speed of trust.*
All of the teachings I’ve received from grieving and dying people always bring me back to one guiding principle: people should be honoured as the experts of their own lives. I believe my job is to listen radiantly enough that you can hear yourself more clearly, and ask questions that help you feel more connected to your deepest sense of self, your values, and the ethics of your decisions.
If you’re lucky enough to love deeply and expansively in this lifetime, you will also inevitably lose a lot in this lifetime. If you’re reading this, you have probably touched the depths of grief. Such a wild, ancient, and unruly thing can consume us if we don’t have the resources to maintain a thread of connection to our vitality. Through life’s inevitable losses and other compounding hardships, we can easily become estranged from ourselves and begin to behave in ways that don’t align with our values, or in ways that scare, surprise, or confuse us.
“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it”
In our initial conversations, I'll ask you to tell me about what kinds of things matter to you, and the things you take a stand for and/or against. If those things aren't clear right now, we can start by getting clear on those things first. This foundational work can take some time, given that the pressures of capitalism often estrange us from our wildest desires and stifle our aliveness. Once some of these ideas are unearthed, we can begin relating to grief from a foundation that is rooted in your values. The way forward usually becomes clear once we are reminded of what we stand for.
My approach to grief is one of reverence. Grief exists to help us metabolize loss, the door through which we re-enter life. When we learn to trust our grief, though the cut may be deep, it will also be clean. While I am steadfast in my own relationship to grief, I won’t try to sell you solutions, or a roadmap of how to navigate your own. The real work of grief is in the reckoning that there is nothing to be fixed, no solution; just living life on life’s terms. I am not a cheerleader, or a coach. I won’t make you promises that I can’t keep. I won’t minimize your loss by pressuring you to find the silver lining. As I’m sure you have discovered, tending to grief requires a lot more nuance than that.
“where there is sorrow there is holy ground”
Instead, I work with you to deepen your understanding of grief, and help you discern what place it might have in your life. I believe in asking questions that broaden the field of perspective within which grief is held. In the process, I can offer you a carefully curated collection of grief theories, grassroots knowledges, and skills. I believe in our ability, like Persephone, to visit the Underworld and come back with medicine for our communities. I believe in grief as an essential skill that will serve us well through looming climate catastrophe.
People often reach out to me after feeling misunderstood by therapists who pressured them to find solutions to their grief. As a suicide loss survivor, I remember how alienating it was to have healthcare providers make assumptions about me, and my grief, based on what they read about suicide loss in a textbook. Their fear-based commitment to misunderstanding me only strengthened my conviction that people should be honoured as the experts of their own lives, and eventually led me to discover Narrative Therapy.
Now, I especially love supporting people through experiences of so-called ‘complicated’ or traumatic grief. It’s very important to me to offer inclusive, trauma-sensitive psychotherapy, that prioritizes real human connection. In other words, your grief— no matter how big or small, how quiet or loud— doesn’t scare me. I am capable of, and committed to, hearing your story as it unfolds and asking questions that help thicken the plot of your life, and reclaim your vitality.
*Thanks for adrienne maree brown for this beautiful expression.
“to live in this world
you must be able
to do three things
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go”
my Training
I have drawn on both lived experience and devoted apprenticeship with trusted mentors to cultivate my professional skills. Here are some of the intensive trainings and certifications that I have pursued over the last several years:
April 2024: EMDR Certification Training with Kathy Martin, K. Martin Counselling, Rochester, NY
February 2024: Mastering the Treatment of Complex Trauma: Structural Dissociation Theory Training with Kathy Martin, K. Martin Counselling, Rochester, NY
February 2023: Palliative Care for Front-Line Workers in Indigenous Communities, Lakehead University, Thunder Bay, ON
October 2021: Narrative Therapy Certification with Stephen Madigan, Vancouver School of Narrative Therapy, BC
June 2021: Certificate in Death, Dying, Grief and Bereavement, Sir Wilfred Laurier School of Social Work, Waterloo, ON
May 2021: Being with Dying: Online Clinician Training with Roshi Joan Halifax, Upaya Zen Centre, Santa Fe, NM
February 2021: Trauma Therapy Level 2, Natalie Zlodre Consulting, Toronto, ON
October 2020: Spiritual Care Generalist Certificate, Shiley Institute for Palliative Care, California State University
March 2020: Complicated Grief Therapy, Columbia University Centre for Complicated Grief, New York City, NY
December 2020: Certification in Thanatology (CT), Association for Death Education and Counselling
June 2020: Learning Essentials Approaches to Palliative Care (LEAP), Pallium Canada
November 2019: Trauma Counselling SickKids Centre for Community Mental Health, Toronto
June 2019: Advanced Palliative Practice Skills for Support Workers, Hospice Niagara, St. Catharines
April 2019: Fundamental of Hospice Palliative Care, Hospice Niagara, St. Catharines
September 2018: Home Funeral Practicum with Don Morris, Elora, ON
August 2018: Orphan Wisdom School Apprenticeship with Stephen Jenkinson, Golden Lake, ON
June 2018: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton
March 2018: CPI Non-violent Crisis Intervention Certification, St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton
April 2017: Hospice Palliative Care Ontario Training (HPCO), Dr. Bob Kemp Hospice, Hamilton
March 2015: CTI Community-Based Crisis Intervention Training, St. Joseph’s Healthcare, Hamilton
April 2015: Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Certification, St. Joseph’s Healthcare, Hamilton
April 2015: Motivational Interviewing, Hamilton Family Health Team